International Students : Try Psychotherapy at Least Once

I Don’t Regret This in My Early 20s

One thing I do not regret in my early 20s is going to therapy. At the time, I was afraid, and when I told my family back home in Indonesia about it, their response was, of course, not very supportive. Their motto was: be stronger, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, move on, and many other things that had nothing to do with actually solving my situation abroad. Most of them believed that therapy was only for weak people.

At first, I did not realize that many of my problems started before I was even born, rooted in the struggles on both sides of my family. The death of my father made everything even worse. On top of that, family dynamics with my siblings have not made things any easier. There are many things I first need to become aware of in order to change the negative patterns that keep me from building healthier relationships in all areas of my life: private life, work, university, and more.

After Covid and over the years with the rise of mental health topics on social media, they slowly realized that I was probably right. But now there is another problem: there are still not many therapists in Indonesia who can really help, and therapy is very expensive there. Not everyone can afford it, and many therapists are not as specialized as the ones here, partly because there are fewer opportunities for specialization.

Many of my friends in Indonesia are very interested in this topic and want help too, but they have nobody to reach out to. That is when I realized that at least I did one thing right for my mental health. My goal is to end these harmful patterns with me and share my journey with you.

I feel very lucky that therapy is covered by public health insurance in Germany, because that is something most countries do not offer and many can't get in their country even if they have the money for it.

Why I’m Emphasizing International Students

As an international student, life can be harder; especially if you come from an Asian country and move to a Western society with very different values.

For example: community vs. individuality, copying vs. creating, remembering vs. critical thinking. There are many more differences I could mention, but the main point is this: you often have to rewire the way you think in order to function in Western society. In Germany, they call this integration.

Boundaries : The Cultural Gap

One concept I really struggled to understand at first was boundaries.
In many Asian communities, having a different opinion and standing up for it can lead to isolation. You risk losing family members, friends, and people may see you as difficult. So naturally, you learn to adapt, to avoid conflict, and to prioritize harmony.

But that is not how people live here in western countries.

Here, people live their own lives, have their own values, and express them openly. As long as you are not harming others or spreading hate, your individuality is respected.

Another Big Struggle : Understanding and Expressing Emotions

Another major challenge is learning how to deal with emotions and putting them into words.

In many Asian cultures, talking about your feelings is often seen as a sign of weakness or even as something unnecessary. The belief is that “strong” or “smart” people should be able to solve their problems logically, without struggling emotionally almost like an idealized version of being calm and detached, like Buddha.

But the truth is: to reach that level of calmness, you first need to understand how emotions actually work.

Emotions are not something you can simply ignore or suppress. They are part of being human, and they evolve as we grow. Yet, these are things we are rarely taught in school.

Learning to recognize, name, and process emotions takes time, often years.

If your parents taught you how to accept your emotions, express them, and deal with them in a healthy way, then you are incredibly lucky. In today’s world, that is almost like winning the lottery.

Understanding these concepts intellectually is one thing.
Actually practicing it is something else; and that took me years.

And I believe I am not the only one going through this.

So my advice is simple: start therapy as early as possible when you begin university.
Think of it as an investment in yourself.

Where to Start Therapy